There are rules associated with hosting your own party, festive gathering, or just plain having people over. I don’t know how many there are, but in my time of hosting things, I’ve learned these thus far:
- Rule No. 1: You can never get drunk/trashed/unconscious at your own party.
- Rule No. 2: You can never get drunk/trashed/unconscious at your own party.
- Rule No. 3: You can never get drunk/trashed/unconscious at your own party.
- Be cognizant enough to take care of your guests should they become drunk/trashed/unconscious.
- If guest need a place to sleep, don’t offer your own room, especially if they’re of the opposite sex and their interest in you is questionable.
- Always be abreast of what is going on in your house and with your guests.
- Always be prepared for the worst.
- Always be prepared for things to get broken. Especially glassware. Never use glassware. Unless it’s super cheap and you really don’t care. Even then, inadvisable.
- The possibility of people vomiting, especially when alcohol or whatever is involved, is very real; plan for this.
- The possibility of people wanting to crash, especially when alcohol, drugs, or it gets late, is very real; plan for this.
- Did I mention Rules No. 1, 2, and 3: You can never get drunk/trashed/unconscious at your own party.
- If you cannot follow the above rules, or feel that you cannot (while you’re still sober), then do not host a gathering.
The rules thus far are really easy. And they absolutely have to be followed WHEN YOU DON’T LIVE IN YOUR OWN PLACE BUT RESIDE WITH YOUR PARENTS.
Honestly, even with the best preparation, some things will go wrong; hence, Rule No. 7. But, if you follow Rules No. 1,2,3, and 11, then you should be able to mitigate any problems that do arise. But violate Rules No, 1,2,3 and 11, then all is lost. Follow Rule No. 12. You’ll save yourself and other interested parties (Read: Me) a lot of hassle.
…
Fuck you, bro. Fuck you.
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